The Age of Performance

I noted in my journal: "Meme identities in the 21st century".

It's a strange time to be a person. We are urged to "be ourselves", yet we are constantly fed algorithmic examples of what a "self" should look like.

I catch myself doing it. I adopt the cadence of a YouTuber I watched. I mimic the aesthetic of a Pinterest board. I try to be the "serious artist and philosopher" because that is the role I have cast myself in.

It is the Age of Performance.

We are all living in cages with the door wide open. The cage is the persona. The door is the realization that nobody is forcing us to stay inside.

I feel this pressure to be "consistent". To have a brand. Even my vulnerability feels curated sometimes. Am I sharing this pain because it's real? Or am I sharing it because "vulnerable writer" is a compelling character arc?

It's a question worth prondering.

There is a loss of an organizing principle in modern life. We don't have a war to fight or a god to serve so we serve the Image. We serve the Performance.

I want to stop performing. I want to just "let life happen" as I told myself. But the audience is always there (even if it's just the imaginary audience in my head).

Maybe the goal isn't to stop performing. That might be impossible. Maybe the goal is just to pick a better script. One that doesn't require so much makeup. One where I don't have to worry if the lighting is right.

I am tired of the theater. I just want to sit in the audience for a while.